Friday, December 24, 2010

believe

Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself.  -- Andre Gide
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Becoming an independent mother is taking some time (I'm almost one year old), and the twists and turns come with moments of serenity, angst, happiness, anger, gratitude ... and on and on. It's a role that is evolving and I'm getting better at it all the time. I thought the holidays were going to be especially difficult, yet I have been pleasantly surprised. And I guess this is largely due to the fact that I have worked so hard the past many months on learning to believe in myself. My worth. That I matter. That I matter to my kids. My battered self-worth and self-esteem from a sad and dysfunctional marriage affected my parenting and problem solving strategies over the years ... yet during the road to recovery my kids and friends are benefiting.

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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.  The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours. -- Ayn Rand

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